If you are anything like me, you have gotten fed up with your joband your boss. You have seen how people can make money from being onthe Internet. You have decided to quit your job, create an Internetcompany. Start developing a web site or a bunch of web sites forclients. For a month you are engrossed in your new found freedom, andyou are excited at the prospect of great success.
You have justuploaded your sites to your ISP, made a few tweaks and improvements,you sit back and admire your work. You stand next to the telephonewaiting in anticipation for the calls to come rolling in to enquireabout your services.Alas, after an hour, no calls. Two hours go by. This is feeling likethe time when your girlfriend dumped you and you were convinced thatshe would phone back begging to return. But, no, after three hours yourlegs are starting to shake, you are thirsty and hungry. …. Its 1:37 am,and still no phone call. Surely the USA is awake by now and they allshould be calling you. No such luck. You half-heartedly drag yourselfto bed, bitterly disappointed.This goes on for days and evenweeks. You wonder to your self what on earth is going on. Then you havea bright idea. Google. Use Google you dumb twit. So you fire up yourPC. It hasn’t been on because you have been manning the telephonelines. You take five minute to type the search phrase into the Googlesearch bar, because you’re so excited that your fingers can’t typecorrectly and you have to continually correct your typing. Eventuallyyou click the search button. A page bursts onto your browser, your eyeis drawn to the adds, but you are not there. No problem, you didn’texpect that as you never paid for any adds. You begin to scroll downeagerly waiting for the link to your site to pop out and hit youstraight between the eyes. No, its not on the first page, not to worry,you have clicked the Google next button before, so you know where itis. You go to the second page. Scrolling down, you move slightlyfaster, its not there. Third page, NO. Fourth page, cant find it. Youstart to sweat. What is Google up to. Don’t they know where your siteis. You have posted it onto the Internet. Google is suppose to searchthe Internet and find your site.
It is 5pm. You have mousecramp, your elbows hurt, your eyes are red and bloodshot, burning likethey are filled with pool acid. You have dislocated your shoulder. Yousoldier on. You have clicked on page 1042. You have scanned over 1 000000 page links in Google. Your biggest nightmare has just arrived, youhave still got over 16 000 000 links to scan. Where oh where is yoursite.
After two weeks of agonising searching you still havenot found your site. You think to yourself. “No wonder nobody calledme”. They could not find your site. What dawns on you is the terrifyingthought that Google does not know about your site. You are sitting inthe abyss of the Internet. The black hole of the World Wide Web. Theultimate game of Hide-‘n-go-seek. You’re hidden and NO ONE can findyou. Hidden out here No one can hear you scream. But then, youremember. Google is your friend. Fire up that old PC, open the browser,go to the Google page. Type in “Why can’t I find my web site”.
Bam!!!Google knocks you right off your seat. You stand up, still groggy fromthe fall, staring at the screen. As the fog disappears and the screenbegins to come into focus, a whole bunch of terms and phrases startdancing and singing before your eyes. Terms like: SEO, Search EngineOptimisation, SEM, Search Engine Marketing, Keywords, Meta Tag, Titles.What is this you ask? I did not know about this.
You do somemore research. Then all of a sudden you are blinded by a big brightflash of light. What has happened? WWIII. A nuclear explosion? You rubyour eyes, peer outside the window only to see that life still goes on.You soon realise that the light just came on in your head. Theintensity burned away all the cobwebs, and you can see clearly now. Youneed to optimise your site so that the search engine can see it andrank it in order for it to appear on the top of the searches. But howdo we do this. Ah, there is an add in Google for a company that doesjust that.
You hesitantly phone the number for the experts. Afterthe very pleasant secretary redirects your call to the sales person.After your short discussion, you slowly fall backwards as the lightstarts to dim. You can’t breathe, you're going blind. Your hearingstarts to fade. As you hit the floor with your head, you are knockedout for a few seconds. As you come too, you realise that you fainted.But what caused it. Oh yes you remember. It was the price those guyswanted to charge you to optimise your site. They must be mad.Youask yourself. Can I do this. Is it that difficult. You eventually fallasleep exhausted, hungry (because you have no money to buy food). Youstart to dream of a brighter tomorrow on the Internet. Dream of searchengines and keywords, of Google and yahoo. Over and over again youshout out “I have a dream”. In your ridiculous dream, you even come upwith a joke:
“Knock Knock. Who’s there. Yah. Yah who? No Google.”
Youralarm clock wakes you up from your slumber. You sit bolt upright inbed. Today is the beginning of a bright new dawn. Today we do SEO andSEM. You fire up the old PC. Bring up your site. You stare blankly atthe screen. With one question going through your mind.
Youthen have a vision. You see a blog. A blog about Search EngineOptimisation for Beginners. It will be up tomorrow. You can’t wait.
Technorati Tags: SEO,SEM,Search Engine Optimisation,Search Engine Marketing
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